Are you ready, kids?

- (All) Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

- (All) Aye, aye, Captain!

- # Ohh... #

# Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? #

- (All) SpongeBob SquarePants!

- # Absorbent and yellow and porous is he #

- (All) SpongeBob SquarePants!

- # If nautical nonsense be something you wish #

- (All) SpongeBob SquarePants!

- # Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish #

- (All) SpongeBob SquarePants! - Ready?

- (All) SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

-SpongeBob

SquarePants!

(Laughing)

(MUSIC)

(WAVES CRASHING)

(UPBEAT BLUEGRASS MUSIC)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

(Grunts)

I hereby franchise this planet

in the name of the Krusty Krab.

(Laughs) (LOUD RUMBLING)

Oh! (Whimpering)

Ah.

Didn't you hear that?

Wake up!

(LOUD RUMBLING)

(Whimpers) Gary,

I think there's someone in the house.

(Yawns)

Aah!

(Meows)

(LOUD CRASH)

It's coming from downstairs.

I'm scared, but we got to go down there.

(Meows)

Yes.

(Meows) Yes.

(Meows) Yes.

(Meows) Yes.

(Meows) Yes!

(Laughing evilly)

-(Shuddering)

Okay, Gare Bear, when I flip on the lights,

you bark at the burglars.

(Meows)

I mean roar, roar at the burglars,

like the fierce jungle snail you are.

(Meows)

(Growling)

(Roaring)

(Meows) Huh?

Narlene?

Oh! Well, if it ain't my old pal Gary.

-(Meows)

-Oh!

Narlene Narwhal?

I haven't seen you since we were kids.

(Both) Memory hug.

(Whimpering) (Laughing)

Oh, look at you, SpongeBob.

All grown-up-ified and proper.

(Giggles)

You came to visit moi?

Well, you always said,

"If you're ever in Bikini Bottom, Narlene,

you can stay with me as long as you like."

(Laughs)

Yeah, that sounds like something I'd say.

Too bad your little brother Nobby isn't here, too.

Oh, he's here. Hey, Nobby!

Shake a horn and get on in here!

-(Speaking gibberish)

Howdy, SpongeBob.

(Speaking gibberish)

(Coughs) Wow, Nobby. You sure got big.

I need some vittles.

My fridge is your fridge, Nobert.

(UPBEAT BLUEGRASS MUSIC)

Ah, we had a lot of good times

riding through the woods in your wagon.

(Sniffs) Ah, I can almost

smell the sea mule. (Sniffs)

Huh? Hee-haw!

-He remembers you, too.

-(Laughter)

-(Braying)

-(Both groaning)

(Yawns)

Oh! Aah!

Sorry, Narlene! I didn't know you were in here!

Morning, SpongeBob.

I just love your fancy whirlpool bathtub.

-(TOILET FLUSHES) -Whoo!

(Laughing)

Would you be a darling and hand me a scrub brush?

Oh! Thank you.

(Laughs)

Hurry it up.

Other people need to use the whirlpool bathtub.

(Grunting)

-Ahhh...

-(Meows)

(UPBEAT BLUEGRASS MUSIC)

-Yeah.

-Ah, Thanksgiving.

(Grunting goofily)

Huh?

(Grunting goofily)

Aah!

(Grunting)

Ta-da! Oooh.

Woo-hoo! Let's go.

I hope you don't mind that we made

your house all hill-ified.

Hill-ified?

Why, I'm...

thrill-ified.

Yee-hoo!

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Howdy. Is Narlene here?

-It's Cousin WillyBob!

Ha ha!

WillyBob, meet SpongeBob.

Hey, SpongeBob, meet WillyBob.

Hoo-hoo-hoo!

Well, any cousin of Narlene's

is a cousin of mine, WillyBob.

Well, much obliged, CousinBob.

Come on, Nobby, let's wrassle!

-Yeah!

Hey, cousins, save some for me.

(Growls)

(KNOCKING ON DOOR) Huh?

Is Narlene here?

Welcome, welcome.

Any cousin of Narlene's is a...

(KNOCKING ON DOOR) Huh.

(All shouting)

-(Meows)

(BLUEGRASS MUSIC PLAYING)

(Growls angrily)

Hey, Cousin SquidBob,

let's square-dance.

(Yelling)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

Breaking news!

Bikini Bottom is under siege from narwhals.

Toothless hoards of backwoods hill folk

are plaguing citizens with jug-band music,

hog calling, and bad grammar.

Citizens are advised to stay indoors

and to avoid stomping your feet to the country-fied beat.

Aah!

They's here! Save yourselves!

-Aah! -(STATIC WHIRS)

Yikes.

I think maybe it's time

to ask your kin to leave, Narlene.

They're not my kin.

I thought they was your kin.

WillyBob is our only relation.

-(Speaking gibberish)

-Nobby's right.

The rest of them ain't even narwhals.

-(Speaking gibberish)

They're Nearwhals.

Phony little varmint.

Kin or no kin,

we got to hog-tie this hoedown.

Well, the good news is...

I think I know someone who can help us.

(Cheers)

(Speaking gibberish)

-What's the bad news?

-Sure.

I can get rid of those Nearwhal nimrods for you.

(Laughs evilly)

Their stupid family has been feuding

with my stupid family for years.

-Oh, I seen it.

Them Planktons sure know how to hold a grudge.

-Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm.

-Ah. (Grunts)

(LIGHT BANJO MUSIC)

(PHONE RINGING)

-Aah!

How do?

-Nearwhals!

-(All) Nearwhals?

-Nearwhals? -Nearwhals?

Feud!

-Voilà! Huh?

-(All shouting)

(UPBEAT BLUEGRASS MUSIC)

Get them Nearwhals!

-(Speaking gibberish)

Huh?

-Consarn Nearwhals!

Give 'em the itch, Planktons.

-It's a plankton sneak attack.

Nearwhals, retreat!

(HORN BLARING)

-What's that, now?

(HORNS BLARING)

Yeah! (Laughter)

Whoo-hoo!

Thank you.

Yeah!

I think someone deserves a little kiss.

-Ooh! (Smooching)

Ew.

Thankee, Cousin Plankee.

(Grunting)

Yuck.

-(Speaking gibberish)

Y'all take care now. (Speaking gibberish)

(Laughs) I already miss you guys.

Will you come back and visit us real soon?

Sooner than you think.

-Hyah! -(Speaking gibberish)

(Crying and sniffles)

Hey, Squidward!

What the...

Hey, Squidward!

Remember back in camp you used to always say,

"If you're ever in town, Narlene,

you can stay with me anytime!"

I never said that!

(donkey brays)

(ENERGETIC MUSIC)

-(Laughing evilly)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

Very sloppy, Eugene.

Leaving an unprotected vent that leads

right into your office.

(Laughing evilly)

Perfect.

The secret formula is as good as mine.

Ah!

I made it.

Yes!

(Humming happily)

# F is for friends who do stuff together #

# U is for you and me #

(Gargling)

# N is for anywhere and anytime at all #

Huh?

(Screams)

(Groaning in pain)

# Down here in the deep blue sea #

(Panting frantically)

Aah!

-Bubble Bass! Are you brushing your teeth?

-Yes, Mother.

Ugh!

(Exhales deeply)

-Oof!

-Oh, no.

(Muffled shouting)

Aah!

(Grunts)

Hmm? Eh, yuck.

This place is filthier than the bathroom

in my old fraternity house.

Time to get out of here.

-(Loud grunting)

-(Shuddering)

Terrified,

mind blank, possibly wetting pants.

Wait. I don't wear pants.

Ooh, lucky me.

-(Growling)

Aah!

-That's right. You better run.

Huh?

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

Terror doubled.

Please! I'll do whatever you say!

Just don't hurt me! (Sobs)

-We would never hurt the Master.

-(All speaking gibberish)

-Wait, what, now?

We are praising you,

the Master Creator.

-Me?

-Yes.

We are C.H.U.M.

Collective Hive Under Master.

You are Master.

You create us when you flush chum

into sewer

from your upside domain.

-You mean the Chum Bucket?

-Yes.

Chum mixes with gasses in sewer...

-(Belches loudly)

-To form we.

-Goo-goo.

-Hmm, makes sense,

huh...

in a stupid sort of way.

Eh!

Whoa, what's happening?

-Master must come to village

so we may worship him.

-Well, I do love to be worshiped.

Hold on. How did you recognize me?

-From sacred scrapbook.

-Ah!

-We save all articles about Master

that float down here.

Here review of Chum Bucket.

You get one negative toilet.

That must be highest rating possible.

-(Chuckles) Yep.

That's the highest, all right.

(Chuckles) Let's just close that.

(QUIRKY MUSIC)

(Grunts)

Ah! (Grunts)

(Groaning)

-The Master is pleased with our village?

-Uh, sure. Why not?

-Oh, thank you, Master.

Thank you.

-That's enough of that.

Do you have a napkin or something

I can use to wipe my hands off?

-A napkin for Master!

-Yuck.

Thanks, but try to be

a little faster next time.

So you C.H.U.M. would really do anything

for me?

-Yes, yes.

Whatever the Master wishes.

-Wah!

Hmm, this gives me an idea.

I don't need to steal

the secret Krabby Patty formula by stealth.

With you C.H.U.M. by my side,

I can take it by force!

-Yes, yes.

Whatever the Master wishes.

-Ew. All right, then.

Line up for assault training.

(Laughing evilly)

(BUGLE PLAYING)

In order to successfully infiltrate the Krusty Krab,

you'll need to batter some doors down.

Now get to battering!

You call that battering?

Batter harder.

Ah!

Wait, no, stop!

-How was that, Master?

-(Groans)

In order for my plan to succeed,

you will need to be expert marksmen.

Line up and form up.

-(Both chattering wildly)

-Hold on, hold on.

Let me just put up these targets before you fire.

-Master say fire!

-(Screams) (Shouts)

-Uh-oh.

-How was our aim, Master?

-Eh, impeccable.

When we finally enter the Krusty Krab,

you will face an enemy more evil

than any of you can imagine.

-(All gasp) -(screaming)

-To get past Krabs and his vile cronies

and make it to the secret formula,

you will need to be experts in the deadly art of karate.

Hoo! Ha! Wah!

(Grunting violently)

Now show Master what you got.

A-plus. (Sighs)

You're ready. (Sighs)

Ay!

(Humming happily)

Hello, Eugene. Plankton?

Ah, get out of here before I flush you.

The only thing getting flushed around here

are your hopes of the Krabby Patty formula

not being stolen by me!

Huh, you and what army?

Me and my C.H.U.M. army.

(Gasps)

(Laughing evilly)

Plankton, what insanity is this?

The insanity of genius!

What's that chum doing?

Anything I want it to.

(Laughing evilly)

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

Aw, Krabs.

You look a little hungry.

Give him a taste, boys.

Ha, ha, ha!

(Grunting)

(Shouting)

(Humming) SpongeBob! SpongeBob!

(vocalizing)

You'll never get me formula.

Today your formula.

Tomorrow the world.

You can't hide forever, Krabs.

Come meet your stinky fate.

(Laughing evilly)

Sorry, Krabs.

Your aging acrobatics are no match

for my C.H.U.M. monster.

(Giggles)

So long, suckers.

Ah!

Oh, shrimp!

Attack!

My putrescent platoon!

Eat splinters, ugly!

Oh!

Whoa!

(MUSIC PLAYING ON HEADPHONES)

Oh!

This is your last chance, Eugene.

Give up the formula or else!

Or else what?

Gah! Whoa!

Or else this!

All right, all right, I'll give you what you want.

Just please don't hurt me.

SpongeBob, help!

(Monster growling) SpongeBob!

Stop him!

Ooh, a penny!

Not again.

Ah!

Oh!

I'm so sorry, Mr. Krabs.

My little hero!

Mwah!

Ooh. (Giggles)

Well, thanks for trying, anyway.

So, uh,

you guys want to hang out, you know,

maybe worship me a little more.

-No, we think C.H.U.M. happier in the sewer.

Too crazy up here.

-But you'll keep worshipping me, right?

-We check our schedule.

Get back to you.

(TOILET FLUSHES)