#Crashing through the crowded halls, dodging girls like ping pong balls#

#Crashing through the crowded halls, dodging girls like ping pong balls#

#just to reach the bathroom on time, leaping over laundry piles,#

#diapers you can smell for miles, guys.#

#Gotta do what you can to survive in the Loud house,#

#in the Loud house.#

#Duck, dodge, push and shove. That's how we show our love.#

#In the Loud house, in the Loud house.#

#one boy and ten girls. Wouldn't trade it for the world.#

#Loud House.#

Poo-poo.

(Upbeat music)

Oh, uh. Double check.

Make sure I have my key.

Oh, honey, you shouldn't be out here.

Go back inside and get to bed.

I just wanted to see you guys off.

I'll miss you while you're at Aunt Ruth's.

It's a ding ding shame.

I'm gonna miss the slideshow of her bus tour of the malls.

(SNEEZES)

Oh, Gesundheit.

It's okay. Aunt Ruth will totally understand.

It's not fair.

Why does daddy get to stay home?

(SNEEZES)

Oh, question answered.

Get lots of rest.

We'll see you tonight.

Bye dad! Feel better pops!

Wahoo!

I'm free! Ha ha ha ha!

(JUMPS)

Ah! Nice try, but your judgmental stares won't work.

Ah, yes.

A day of peace and quiet in this house is a rare thing.

And I won't apologize for really, really wanting one.

Welcome to Operation Desert Storm.

Today is all about waffles.

Oh, yay! My favorite W food.

This is gonna be the perfect day.

And now we return for our next segment.

For whom the Belgian waffle tolls.

Oh, waffle puns.

You gotta love em.

(Dog barking)

And now, viewers, we're gonna reveal the secret ingredient to our

raspberry waffle recipe.

The secret is.

Ah! Oh! Ah! Oof! Ohh!

This.

Oh, I missed the secret ingredient to the raspberry waffles.

Well, come to think of it, it's probably just raspberries.

(Dog barking)

(Cat snarling)

Sorry, guys, not on my perfect day.

You guys can chase each other all you want out here.

Ah!

(SNORES)

Huh huh huh?

(BIRD TWEETING)

Peace and quiet at last.

Huh? Huh?

(Suspense music)

Is that a cricket?

Not today.

Huh huh huh?

(Cricket chirping)

Huh huh?

(Cricket chirping)

Huh? There you are.

Eat liquid sprayed butter, punk!

Oooh! Ugh! Uh! Aaah!

Ohh! Ahh!

Ahhh! Ohh! Uhhh!

(Crumbling)

Oh! Oh! Ah! Augh!

Right on the tailbone.

Oh, it is on.

(LAUGHS)

(Cricket chirping)

(Upbeat music)

(FALLS)

Ah! Oh! Augh!

(Upbeat music)

Gotcha!

Ha ha ha!

(SCREAMS)

And here's a bathroom stall from a mall in Indianapolis.

This one had auto flushing like the ones at a fancy steakhouse.

Dad's so lucky to be home sleeping.

Lynn, you're gonna miss the massage chairs at the mall in Walnut Grove.

Where are you?

Ah! Aha! Ahhh.

Enjoy my size 11, you beast!

Huh? Huh?

(Upbeat music)

Time for a little rock and roll.

How do you like that? Huh?

Ha ha ha ha ha!

(DOOR FALLS)

Oh! Tailbone again.

Ha! This ends now.

(FALLS)

(Upbeat music)

Oh! My hand! Whoa whoa whoa whoa.

Time out.

(Toilet flushing)

Time in.

(Upbeat music)

I got you! Ha ha ha ha!

Okay, you quiet ruining varmint!

Out you go.

This seems far enough.

Go ruin someone else's day.

No one outmaneuvers Lynn

Loud. When peace and quiet are on the line.

Ah, no no no no no.

Key, key, key, key, key, key.

Oh, no!

Dang it! Bad gloating animals.

Oh, maybe I forgot to lock the front door when the fam left.

(Panting)

Curse me in my innate sense of responsibility.

Ah! Oh yeah, I gave grouse a spare key. Haha.

No one's home.

Go away!

Mr. Grouse, I need your help.

Oh, lookie. It's a Loud, shocker.

Where do you want and how fast can they get rid of you?

Remember the spare key I gave you for emergencies?

Well, this is that.

Oh, yeah. Sure. I keep it in a bowl right here.

Yeah, this might take a minute.

It should be easy to find.

You had it on that weird keychain.

I wove that myself.

Oh, wait. Now I remember where your key is.

Where?

Inside your house.

When you gave me the ding dang thing, I told you I didn't

want the responsibility.

So one day, when you were all out, I used a key to let myself in and

returned it.

Is that why there's missing lasagnas?

Well, yeah, that was my delivery fee.

Can I go back to my nap now?

Oh, you might want to catch a couple of Z's yourself.

You look like a hot mess.

(Guitar sound)

Oh, come on, Len, there has to be a way in.

Yes, that's the way in.

Huh? Da da da da da.

Ha ha ha ha!

Try to outsmart Lynn Loud.

I don't think.

(Beez buzzing)

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Woo hoo! Those father daughter pole vaulting lessons with L.J.

Sur! Oof!

(SCREAMS)

(Camera shutter clicks)

Cliff, don't you dare post that.

Stupid cricket. This all your fault. Could be asleep righy now.

I've gotta make it.

I'm passed it.

Oh, no.

No, not the cactus.

Oh, the cactus would have been much better, huh?

Hey, I've done it before.

I can do it again. Dang it.

Might've put on a few more pounds.

Uhuuuuh. Uhuh.

Aagh aagh

Ha! Yeah.

No more Mr. Nice guy. On your mark.

Get set! Charge!

At least I'm back in the house.

(GROANS)

Ah! I still get a little relaxation time.

(Cricket chirping)

Aaaaaaaaah!!!!

Oh, thank you guys for sitting through all

700 of Aunt Ruth's slides.

Are you kidding?

I could look at Malls all day.

Do you think she'd show it to me again?

Kids, remember to be quiet when we get home.

Your dad is sick. He's probably asleep.

Oh. Did I leave my flat iron on?

Did I leave my plutonium reactor on?

Mama's coming, Mr. Sprinkles. Lin!

Honey?

Where is he?

Where is he? Chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp

What happened? Oh, honey, you must have been so delirious.

You trashed the house.

I had no idea you were this sick.

You need to get to bed immediately.

But not here.

Kids, come on, we have to go.

Move to Canada. Smart.

Chirpy won't find us there.

No. We'll stay with Aunt Ruth until the house is repaired.

She'll be happy to help nurse you back to health.

I should warn you, though.

She'll want to show you her malls slide show.

Malls of the.

(SOBBING)

(Cricket chirping)

Roar of the beast.

Are you kids making that chirping noise?

Why would you mess with your old man like that?

It's not us, dad. It's this little guy.

I found him in the house, and now he's my new pet.

I named him Paul.

No, no, don't name him.

Aaaahhhahhhh!