# Crashing through the crowded halls #

# Dodging girls like Ping-Pong balls #

# Just to reach the bathroom on time #

# Leaping over laundry piles #

# Diapers you can smell for miles #

# Guy's got to do what he can to survive #

# In the Loud house, in the Loud house #

# Duck, dodge, push, and shove #

# This is how we show our love #

# In the Loud house, in the Loud house #

# One boy and ten girls #

# Wouldn't trade it for the world #

# Loud Loud Loud #

# Loud house #

Poo poo!

Awww yeah! It's Turkey Leg Tuesday.

Next!

(GASPS)

Huh? Wait, Chef Pat, I think...

Next!

That thing is tinier than a tick on a tack!

I don't know why I get my hopes up.

This has been happening ever since we started middle school!

Weiner Wednesday is where it's at!

Uh... Next!

Wow! Sole meunière?

This is the best Fishy Friday ever!

A frozen fish stick? (SIGHS)

Something weird is going on with Chef Pat,

and I'm gonna get to the bottom of it!

Um?

Chef Pat, do you have a second?

Did I do something to make you angry?

Cause the lunches you've been giving me have been pretty

inedible. Nope.

I got no beef with you.

(LAUGHS) Beef!

I see what you did there.

(GRUMBLES)

Fruit, carbs and ham.

All the food groups!

Hey Lynn, something's going on with Chef Pat.

It feels like she has a grudge against me and I don't

know why! I've never done anything to her.

And I was hoping that since you know middle school better than me...

Wait, Lincoln. Chef Pat has some weird grudge against me too!

I've been getting bogus lunches ever since I started middle school,

while my friends have been chowing down on grade-A grub!

That's how I made up the ham shake.

It can't be a coincidence that Chef Pat has it out for two people

in the same family.

Well, I didn't do squat to her.

Maybe one of our sibs did!

We gotta find out! I can't keep getting bad lunches.

You with me? Heck yeah I am!

I'm getting tired of liquid meat!

(BURPS)

If we're gonna find out who wronged Chef Pat, we'll need to use the

three D's of detective work.

Diligence, distraction

and disguise. We may not find the answer tonight.

Or tomorrow or even this week!

But when we do, all of our hard work will be worth it!

Just talked to everyone. Nobody knows why they got bad lunches.

Luan said the food was so bad that she couldn't even make “pun” of it.

Luna gave up after a week and started eating in the band room.

And Leni said the slop she got was

“totes yuck.”

That only leaves one sibling who could've wronged her.

What did you do to Chef Pat?

Whoah, hi to you guys too.

She's holding a grudge against the Louds and it's making our lunch

period miserable!

Chef Pat? I didn't...

Oh wait, I just remembered.

It was the first day of middle school...

I had just gotten a brand new cell phone.

(GRUMBLES)

(SCREAMS)

Ugh. This is bad, real bad.

That's not even the worst part.

The soup was so thick and cheesy

it wouldn't come out of Chef Pat's hair, so

she had to shave her head.

Did you ever apologize?

I was mortified! I never showed my face in the cafeteria again.

Look, I'll send her a nice text with a sorry-face emoji.

No! The apology has to be in person.

Lincoln, I live three hours away!

Fine. Text away.

But if it doesn't work, I'll be calling you every day for the rest

of middle school whenever I get a bad lunch.

Yeah! Me too!

(GROANS)

(GRUMBLES)

Morning, Chef Pat!

My sister drove all the way from college to tell you something.

(SCREAMS)

So, there's a chance you don't even remember this.

It was literally like, such a small faux pas.

But, I was once a tiny bit responsible for spilling soup in

your hair and I just want to say I'm so sorry for that.

And on the upside, you really pulled off the bald look.

(GRUMBLES)

Oh! I almost forgot. I brought you a peace offering all the way from

Fairway U! (LAUGHS)

Go Birdies!

There's coffee stains in this.

Um... it's vintage!

Meh. (SIGHS)

Looks like your apology has been accepted!

Lincoln, that was literally raw beef.

(HUMMS) What are you so happy about?

Finally get your first chin hair?

It's French Fry Friday, and let's just say things are looking up for

me in the lunch department. I'll have a plate of your finest french

fries today. Extra french.

Uh? Uncooked potatoes?

What about the mug? I thought we were cool!

Next!

Lemme guess, you too?

I don't get it! Why is still punishing us?

Whew! So you two crossed Chef Pat, huh?

She's a tough cookie, chiefs.

How do you know?

Eh, me and Pat go way back to high school.

Hey, my lemonade!

See right here? That's us playing dodgeball!

(BOTH) Oh!

That's you?

Eh, those were pre-nacho-cheese days.

(GASPS) Lynn! Look who else is in this pic!

Is it possible has a beef with Mom?

No way!

Pat and I were besties all through high school.

See! This picture was taken on the last day of school.

There's me, Chef Pat and Zach's Mom.

I remember this like it was just yesterday.

That's crazy, right?

Last lunch swap of high school, girls!

I have a PB&J with homemade peanut butter and blueberry compote.

(CHUCKLES) Wow, Pat. You're such a foodie.

All that and a bag of chips!

-Exactly! -No.

I meant, I have all that.

-Plus this bag of chips. -(GIGGLES)

Ehh, heads up!

-You okay Flip? -Wazzap?

Oh, while I have you,graduation party.

This Saturday. My house.

It is gonna be so phat!

(GASPS) Come to think of it, I should be the one holding a

grudge! Pat never showed at my graduation party.

And it was fun!

Pop Pop even brought a hovercraft from the base.

Psh. You get a hovercraft, but when I ask for a flamethrower on my

birthday it's “too dangerous.”

Let's cut to the chase. Why are you punishing us?

We know we didn't do anything to you, and neither did our other

sisters. Or our mom!

Yeah! We saw the pictures of you two!

You guys were besties!

She even invited you to her graduation party!

No she didn!

I'll never forget the way she totally dissed me.

Graduation party! My house!

Here's an invite for you.

-Cool! -And one for you.

-Got one! -And one for you.

And two for you! Heads up! (LAUGHS)

Hey Patty. Wanna save some dough and carpool to Rita's shindig?

I heard there's gonna be a hovercraft!

-(GROANS) -(SCREAMS)

That doesn't sound like our mom.

Uh, yeah, she said she invited you.

Psh. Of course she says that now.

But do you have any proof?

Then I suggest you two get used to eating slop

for the rest of middle school. Next!

Okay, let's go over this one more time.

Are you sure you invited Chef Pat to your graduation party?

Yes, absolutely!

I was in the library handing out invites...

I'll never forget that cookbook Pat was reading.

A Chewed Awakening: Pickled Herring and other Icelandic Cuisines.

(LAUGHS)

(BOTH GASP) We have to go tell Chef Pat!

Chef Pat! Our, mom did invite you to her graduation party!

She put the invitation in your library book!

What? My library book?

Well then how come I didn't see it?

Phillipini!

(GASPS)Now it all makes sense!

The invite must still be in that book!

Look! There it is!

Whohoo! Mystery solved!

I owe you guys a big fat apology!

I feel terrible about all those lunches of yours I ruined!

Aww, we're good. It's cool.

Thanks, you guys.

(SIGH) Sad thing is, I really wish I'd had the chance

to go to your mom's graduation party.

That was a once- in-a-lifetime event.

(SIGHS)

(WHISPERS) (LAUGHS)

Thanks for doing this, Mom. Anything for a friend.

I will say, it's nice to have everyone back together.

Whoohoo! (LAUGHS)

That was awesome!

This party is everything I always dreamed it would be!

So glad to hear it!

And thank you for all the delicious food you brought, Pat!

No problem, I owe your kids some good meals (CHUCKLES).

Ahh!

(GASPS) Philippini!

(SCREAMS) (GROANS)

Sorry, Mr. Grouse!

Lisa's atomic jetpack needs adjusti...

(SCREAMS)

(Electric guitar)

What the heck? Hey!

(GROWLS)

(TV) He's at the forty!

The thirty! He could go all the...

Leni is hogging the TV at home, and I cannot miss “The Dream

Boat”! Brent's mad at Brayden for kissing Britney on the bridge.

Oh, cheese puffs! Yummers!

(HUMMS)

Digging's more fun with a pal!

Gravely more fun.

Why I outta...

Ah!

G-Man, wanna toss the pigskin around?

Go long, Mr. Grouse!

-(GRUMBLES) -My bad.

-(GRUMBLES) -Can you throw the ball back?

(YELLS)

“For Sale”?

Mr. Grouse you're selling your front lawn?

I think it includes the house, too, sweetie.

But, dude! You've lived next door to us, like, forever!

Well, that's the blasted point!

I've put up with all your noise and nonsense for too dang long!

I can't take one more second of it!

That's why I'm renting a place till my house sells.

I need some peace and quiet, and I need it now!

(EVERYONE SPEAK AT THE SAME TIME)

-(BABBLES) -Sorry, Louds, my mind's made up.

Try your best to forget me.

Adios, Louds!

“Room for rent in quiet cozy lil' condo...” This sounds perfect!

Well? What do you say, sugar?

You wanna rent our spare bedroom?

You have any kids?

Then yes I do!

Ah. Eight o'clock.

For once, getting to bed at a decent hour.

(SNORES)

(Country music)

What is this malarky?

We're in the boot scootin' finals, so we gotta practice!

Well, can you at least turn the music down?

What? You want to turn the boogie down?

Why, sure, roomie! Get on in here!

"Apartment for rent in relaxing senior community...”

I shoulda moved here ages ago!

Oh, stop shoveling in the chow!

You know what time it is.

Pudding balloon fight!

Do you do this at every meal?

No. At dinner, we fill ‘em with gravy!

Ah! We got us a runner!

(SCREAMS)

“Room for rent on serene boat...”

Hey, chief. You're looking grumpier than usual today.

I can't find a peaceful place to rent in this stinkin' town!

At this point, I'd pay anything!

Eh, welcome to “Rick's Rents ‘n' Rocks”!

What can Rick do for ya?

What is this? A TV prank show?

No sir. I tell ya what, I can rent ya my mom's cabin in the woods.

She's up at Mackinaw Island learning how to make Fudge!

Did I mention that all rentals come with a free rock?

Eh. I don't know.

(Hubbub)

I'll take it!

Eh, there's a ten dollar rock handling fee.

Hello? Sweet mother of molasses!

Peace and quiet at long last!

Yessiree, Bud, this is the life!

Hey! Don't even think about it!

(SIGHS)

Whoohoo!

(HUMMS)

(LAUGHS)

(GASPS) (LAUGHS)

(SNORES)

(MOANS) (SNORES)

(GASPS) Hey, pal! How ya doin?

I'm Bud Grouse.

Weird name. Mine's Bolhofner.

You wanna come in and catch the game?

I hate sports. I wrestled in school and my dad was head coach.

Never enough hustle for that man!

I got a real swell puzzle.

Puzzles stress me out.

Or we could just talk!

Talking stresses me out even more.

Look, I need to get back to my cabin.

I've got a lot of skinning I promised myself I'd finish.

Howdy, neighbor! I was in the area, figured I'd stop by to

see if you wanted any cheese puffs.

Whoa! Get out of here woodpecker!

Give me back that bowl! Oh, well, just eat around the beak marks.

Yeah. I'm good. But thanks.

Plenty of peace and quiet ‘round here, huh?

Place I used to live, nothin' but nonstop commotion!

I tell ya boy, it was the pits!

-(SIGHS) -Love all this quiet, don't you?

-Hey there! Diggin' a hole, are ya? -Obviously.

That's what I told my rock friend here, “bet he's digging a hole.

(CHUCKLES) Lemme help.

You know what they say: digging is more fun with a pal!

No! That's the main water line.

(SCREAMS)

Ah!

Oh! Hey, neighbor!

The door was open.

Pretty sure it wasn't.

Anyway, thought we could watch TV!

There's this program called “The Dream Boat” where youngsters

embarrass themselves for love.

Fine.

Try moving those around.

Well, darn it.

Looks like the TV's out.

Tough toenails, I guess.

You give up too easy.

Argh! I can take anymore!

I bought this cabin for some peace and quiet, and you're ruining it!

You are a terrible neighbor!

Go away!

(GROANS)

Thinks I'm a terrible neighbor, eh?

So I fell through his roof.

Not like I jet-packed through his wall.

Hey Rocky, you wanna see terrible neighbors?

(CHUCKLES) Look at this one.

Can you imagine having to live next door to that?

I can't believe I'm sayin' this, but

I miss the Louds.

(SNIFFS) Sure, they're rowdy and nosey.

But they're like family.

You're right! Why not go home?

Boy, sure got my money's worth on that rock handling fee!

(GASPS)

(CHUCKLES) You just couldn't leave me be, eh?

“Rick” told us where you were,

after we agreed to buy a case of rocks.

We brought you a congratulations Lynn-sagna to celebrate...

-you selling your house! -Wait, what now?

People are at your house right now.

Looks like they're going to buy it.

Even I know that's not what a happy face looks like. What's wrong?

I was just about to move back home, but now I can't.

All this time, I thought I wanted peace and quiet, but once I had it,

I realized how much Iḿ missed...

We missed you too, Mr. Grouse!

Wait a minute! Why can't you move back home?

There might still be time to stop those buyers!

I'll drive. I can burn rubber!

Stop. My house is no longer for sale!

Turns out I'm stayin' put.

Oh, sorry.

Already bought it. We just signed the paperwork.

This is the house for us.

We love how peaceful the neighborhood is.

Welp, if you're gonna live here, you should meet

your next-door neighbors

the Louds.

(TALKS AT THE SAME TIME)

(BOTH SCREAM)

(ALL) Bye!

Aww, it's good to be home!

# Cramped inside this tiny space #

# May sound bad but ain't the case #

# In the Loud house # # Loud house #

# Duck and dodge and push and shove #

# That's the way we show our love in the Loud house #

# Loud house #

# Laundry piles stacked up high #

# Hand-me-downs that make me cry #

# Stand in line to take a pee #

# Never any privacy #

# Chaos with 11 kids #

# That's the way it always is #

# In the Loud house #