# Crashing through the crowded halls #

# Dodging girls like Ping-Pong balls #

# Just to reach the bathroom on time #

# Leaping over laundry piles #

# Diapers you can smell for miles #

# Guy's got to do what he can to survive #

# In the Loud house #

# In the Loud house #

# Duck, dodge, push, and shove #

# This is how we show our love #

# In the Loud house #

# In the Loud house #

# One boy and ten girls #

# Wouldn't trade it for the world #

# Loud Loud Loud #

# Loud house ##

Poo-poo...

(upbeat rock music)

(mysterious music)

Sibling? Ah!

I'm discerning a heightened sense of anxiety.

What's the prob?

Ronnie Anne sent me that package,

so anything could pop out.

Yah! Ugh!

Ah!

Ahh!

(whimpering)

(bird screeches)

Mm. Come with me.

Behold, my patented, high-resolution,

electromagnetic imaging scanner.

-(gasps) -Yikes.

This package contains an epic amount of expired ketchup.

No sudden movements.

It could go off at any moment.

Hey, what's that?

Hm. It appears a piece

of mail is stuck to the bottom of the package.

It's Lori's progress report

from Fairway University.

-(gasps)

-Leaping lip toads, did you see those grades?

A 68, 67...

(gasps) A 65.

Dudes, I'm trying to practice over here.

What's all the noise about?

Lori. She's getting failing grades in all her classes.

Not possible.

I just talked to her on the phone.

She said she's doing quote...

# Literally so awesome #

(sighs) A textbook case of denial.

We have to have an emergency meeting.

(bangs) We have a big problem, everybody.

Lori's flunking out of Fairway.

(all gasp)

O-M-gosh, you guys.

Just look at her SwiftyPic page.

She's not focusing on college,

like, at all.

Siblings, I've run a computer simulation

of what Lori's future will look like with such dismal grades.

Our elder sister will be kicked out of college.

She'll start working by day at the Food 'n' Fuel,

as Nacho's cheese intern.

By night, she'll be Scoots' personal pudding feeder.

-(all shriek)

-We got to go and help Lori

before she messes up her whole life.

-(sighs) Sadly, it won't do any good.

For reasons unknown, she always rejects

our spirited attempts to help.

Well, you're in luck because I've already got a plan.

We go to Fairway,

staying undercover so Lori won't see us.

Then we remove all of her distractions

so she has no choice but to focus on school.

Whoa, nice one, bro.

Let's do it.

-For sure. -Oh, good idea.

-Present for me.

Lily, no. Don't open that!

(boom)

(laughing)

(loud crash)

(tires screech)

We're here.

All right, we're going to do this David Steele style.

Aww. Playing spy again?

Luan, this is not playing.

I have this mission planned out from top to bottom.

So first, we got to disguise Vanzilla

so Lori doesn't spot it.

Good thing I always carry

my David Steele family van camouflage.

Now, all we have to do is find...

Lori! Guys, it's Lori!

Yeah, three pars in a row.

It was unreal. Wow.

Hey, Lori, it's me, your sister, Leni!

(screams)

Oof!

Huh?

Hm.

(all) Phew.

Hey, babe, are you posting more acai smoothie pics?

You know it.

Ugh, she's not getting any studying done

with all those gadgets.

Her grades are gonna keep swirling down the old toilet.

-Perhaps the dark arts can help.

-(Italian accent) Bon journey, nice lady,

can we have a moment of-a your time?

Um, kind of busy right now.

(Italian accent) But Mama Mia!

We have to know which dish the students like-a the best.

(sneaky music)

-Spirits of Wi-Fi and things that you dial,

render these gizmos worthless a while.

-Well, I got to go.

Arrivederci. (gags)

Oh, sorry about that, Boo-Boo Bear.

Boo-Boo Bear?

(screams)

(car horn honks)

Guys, I just overheard Lori talking to some friends.

She's about to go hang out with them all afternoon.

(all gasp)

Hey, wait.

(truck beeping)

I have an idea, dudes.

(elevator dings)

Huh? (deep voice) I'm sorry, miss,

this area is closed, major construction.

We're expanding the hallway to put in, uh,

a golf cart lane.

Ooh, that'll be so convenient.

(sighs)

Dudes, success!

(door opens)

Correction, failure.

She got past my tape by using the stairs.

(screams)

Wait, where's everybody going?

I thought we were gonna hang out.

Not when there's a possum infestation.

-(possum screeches) -(screams)

-Ha-ha! Good job, Duncan.

Great work, everybody.

I'm pretty sure there can't be

anything left to distract Lori.

-(car horn honks) -(tires screech)

-(gasps)

-Bobby, why are you here?

Uh, I mean, hi.

-Lori hasn't responded to my calls.

I think I might have done something wrong.

So I came to spend the day with her.

What are you guys doing?

-Lori's not here! She's out, uh,

searching for her favorite putter, which is lost,

so, uh, that's why she couldn't call you back. Bye.

Yeah. I say you go home

and wait till you get a call from...

Lori!

(laughing)

Are you sure?

-Yep, drive safe, sweetie.

Guess I'll go study with you in the library, Marissa.

It's weird. I've suddenly got nothing else to do.

Mission complete.

We got Lori back on track.

Time to head home.

If we can find Vanzilla.

Oof! (groans)

Found it.

Guys, another Lori progress report.

(gasps) A 62?

(all gasp)

-That's lower than before.

And I heard her tell Mom and Dad

she has a major test today.

If only there was a way to make sure Lori aces it.

(gasps) I have an idea.

(clattering)

My trunk of disguises.

Cheryl, Principal Ramirez, Meemaw...

Aha, Lori.

We're going back to Fairway.

(tires screech)

Hi, Lori.

Hey, what are you guys doing here?

We heard you have a big test today, sis,

so we're taking you out for a power lunch.

Oh, I don't think I have time for...

Sure, you do, sweetie. (shrieks)

(tires squeal)

(sneaky music)

All clear.

Ugh. Guys, I only need two legs.

-Right, right.

Oh, hello, Lori.

-Salutati... Uh, I mean, hey, Coach.

Lori Loud's literally ready to take the exam.

Would you literally point me to my seat?

(giggles) You know me,

silly Lori always forgetting, literally.

(playful music)

-(cars honking) -Ah!

Guys, are we almost there?

-(inhales deeply) -(giggles)

Oh-M-gosh, that totes sounds like a nail in the tire.

Better pull over.

Ugh.

What's going on?

I thought we were taking a test.

-We are! It's the same

as all your others, a game of golf.

(chuckles) Not like you have anything

to worry about, Lori.

You've been crushing it lately.

What was your last score, 62?

-(gasps) Oh, dear.

-What's that? -Uh, I said, uh,

BRB.

(panting)

Siblings, how shall I put this? We goofed.

Lori's grades were really golf scores,

and in golf, lower is better.

It appears she's actually doing great in school.

(gasps) Okay, I'll text the others.

We have to get Lori back to take this test.

In the meantime, I'll cover.

Not to brag, but I'm the best ball whacker around.

Everybody switch.

Where's my wig? That's my real hair!

(dramatic music)

Guys, I really need to get to my test.

We're doing our best here, dude.

(cell phone dings)

(gasps) Look at this text from Lincoln.

We got to get Lori back now.

-(gasps) -Gasp.

-(air hissing) -(all) Huh?

Oops, forgot about that.

I didn't want to feel icky about lying,

so I made it true.

Ugh.

Don't worry, dudes, we're in luck!

(grunting)

-What? (growling)

Okay, immediately go to plan B.

Distract Niblick until Lori gets here.

Golf-a-gram for Coach Niblick!

# Oh, don't you drive your golf ball #

# Toward the hazard on the green #

# Swing too hard and miss the shot #

# You'll strain your tender spleen #

-Hey, Mister, how'd you like to see my friend play fetch?

-(crocodile growls)

-And go get it, boy!

-(gasps) Ah!

-(panting) -Good day.

I'm with the Department of College Golf Course Safety.

Time for your annual inspection.

I'm very strict.

-Ah!

Hurry, hurry, hurry!

Oh, no, the test already started.

Coach Niblick, I'm here.

Sorry, Lori, I don't know what's going on

with you today, but time's up.

You failed the exam.

Failed? But how did this happen?

Wait, why are you guys all here,

and why are you wearing disguises?

(sighs) We saw your progress reports...

-And thought you got bad grades,

and you'd be kicked out of Fairway.

And become a pudding feeder!

So we decided to take your test for you.

Boy, we messed up.

We're really sorry, Lori.

(grunts and sighs) Well, in a weird,

Loud family way, it does show you care.

(sighs) But that test was huge.

I don't know what I'm gonna do.

Don't worry, we can fix this.

We just have to get Niblick back.

Leave it to me.

(whistles)

-(crocodile growling) -All right, Anthony,

ride like the wind!

(jazzy music)

-Well struck, Lori!

Congratulations, you passed with flying colors.

Now, would someone get me out of here.

-Oh, right. Anthony, drop it.

-(shrieking)

-(all cheering)

-Amazing job, Lori.

We'll never putt into your business again.

Bye, Lori.

Bye guys!

(all) Bye!

(cheerful music)

Benjamin Stein, you may have just started working here,

but I know greatness when I see it.

I'm promoting you to assistant manager of the Burpin' Burger.

-Wow, the Golden Buns?

-Dreams do come true. -You've earned it.

You're always on time, your uniform is always clean,

and you're the first person ever

to organize the pickles by size.

-Thank you, Andre.

I'll teach you how to organize the pickles too, Otis,

once you've recovered from that accident with the burger sign.

-(vocalizing)

-(grunts) Oof.

-And we all want you to get better soon...

-(whimpering) -Especially me,

-because I have to fill in for you.

-No one wears the buns like you, boss.

-Whoa!

-Ugh. -It's o-fish-al!

You're a "reel" catch.

-(both laugh)

-Aw, Luan, I'm hooked on you.

It's so good to see ya.

-(clears throat)

Luan, can you please control your dummy?

He's creeping out our customers.

-Don't make eye contact.

Back away slowly.

-Oh, sorry.

He's just thirsty for attention.

-Get it? -(sighs)

Someone needs to pay for the soda.

-(laughs)

Well, I better take Mr. Coconuts home.

We just used our savings on that hilarious soda bit.

I miss spending time with you, Benny.

Ever since Dairyland closed for the off-season,

I don't see you very much.

Remember how I'd sneak up on you and scare you,

and you'd knock over your popcorn cart?

(laughs) I miss that.

-Ha-ha! Classic, us.

I miss it too.

-(gasps) Wait.

Benny, why don't I just work here with you?

Problem solved.

-I was just thinking that too! (chuckles)

But I don't know if Andre will go for it.

He takes fast food very seriously.

(dramatic music)

-Be the burger. Be the burger.

Sesame seed bun!

-You can convince him.

He'll listen to you.

-You're right. I'm assistant manager now.

-Absolutely not. Luan? Work here?

Are you kidding? Hup!

-But sir, Otis is still injured,

and we could really use a little more help.

Plus, she does have experience.

Her family owns a restaurant,

and she promised to leave Mr. Coconuts at home.

-Fine.

But Luan is your responsibility.

She can be your first assignment as assistant manager.

-Thanks, boss. You won't regret this!

-I hope not.

-(chuckles)

-(clears throat) -Hm?

-Welcome to the Burpin' Burger family, Luan!

-(gasps) -You start tomorrow!

-(squeals)

Oh, Benny, we're gonna have so much fun together.

-I know! But first, I'll have to train you.

-We'll start with the fries. -Whatever you say, boss.

Ooh, check it out, I'm going backwards.

-Hey, watch out!

(loud crash)

-(grunts)

-(loud crash) -Ow!

-Aw.

That's everything.

Oh, here's your first customer.

-Hi. Nice to "meat" you.

I heard there was a new employee at the Burpin' B,

so I hustled down here to "ketchup."

-(laughs) "Lettuce ketchup," indeed.

I hope that new employee isn't beefing it.

(chuckles) Get it?

-Come on, bruh, are you gonna order or what?

-Hang on, we're on a roll.

You got to relish it.

-(laughter)

-(clears throat)

(scary music)

-Uh, Luan, we're gonna move you to drive-thru window duty.

-Did you hear that, Dad? I'm already getting promoted.

-I'm gonna go home and tell Mom.

-Hello? Is this thing on?

Knock, knock.

-Ooh, who's there?

-It's Mr. Grouse.

I just want a cheeseburger.

-Mr. Grouse, I just want a cheeseburger who?

-(laughs) -(groans)

These Louds are everywhere now.

-(laughing) Oh, hey, Benny.

You're just in time to do knock-knock jokes with me.

-Ah, let's circle back to that.

I'm getting complaints that every time

someone orders a number two,

you're handing them fake dog poop?

-I knew you would love that one. (chuckles)

Oh, I missed having fun with you.

It's just like old times.

-Hello, can I just get a number two?

-Will doo-doo!

-Guess what? Now you're on dining room duty.

-Somebody? Anyone?

(groans)

(cheerful music)

-(shrieks) -(laughs)

-(gasps)

(splatting)

Ugh.

I'm so sorry about the rubber chicken in your to-go bag.

Please enjoy this complimentary milkshake.

-Benny. -Ah!

-Benny, can I see you in the employee conference room?

-I'm so sorry.

(dramatic music)

-You have to fire Luan.

She's the worst employee we've ever had.

-Maybe she just needs more training?

-She's handing out fake poop to customers.

-You got me there.

But sir, I can't fire her.

She's my girlfriend.

-Benny, firing people is a part of the job.

You're just gonna have to do it,

-and if you can't... -(gasps)

-Maybe you're not assistant manager material.

-(shivering) -Tough break, buddy.

-Otis, how long have you been in here?

-(laughing) Whoa. Whoa.

-Luan, what are you doing in the milkshake machine?

-There was a clog, and I was "udderly" worried.

-I retract my question.

Look, I have some news.

-Wait, before the news,

I have a surprise for you.

-Oh, wow, you made these? -Yep.

Just a little something to say thank you for this job,

because I'm having an absolute blast.

So what was the news?

-Well, uh, you see, the thing is,

you're fired.

-(sobbing)

I never want to see you again, Benny!

-(groans) -Benny?

-Benny. -Huh?

-Are you okay?

So what's the news?

-Just that, ah,

I got a new job for you...

Outside.

I need you to clean the dumpster.

It's not glamorous,

but at least you're out in the fresh air.

(inhales deeply) (gags)

Well, maybe it's not the freshest air.

I'll let you get to it.

-Benny. -Ah!

-I'm proud of you for firing Luan.

That showed real golden bun strength.

-Ah, thanks. It was traumatizing,

but she's long gone.

-Good.

-Finished with the dumpster! -(gasps)

-Believe it or not, it was easier to clean

than Lana after a night in the doghouse.

So can I work inside now?

-Not yet because I need you to take this order

all the way to... Hazeltucky!

Surprise. Now you're on delivery duty.

-I didn't think we did deliveries,

plus I don't have a car.

-We do, and just, uh, take your unicycle.

-But it's ten miles.

-15 if you stay off the freeway.

Better safe than sorry.

-Here's the address.

Hello, Aunt Gert, congratulations!

You just won a free Double Burper with cheese,

courtesy of Burpin' Burger, and it's headed your way.

(sighs)

-Yah! -I'm back.

-(door opens) -(gasps)

(groans) (grunts)

Thought I could scrape some gum while we talk.

What are you doing back so soon?

-Well, I ran into Leni,

who was headed to the party store in Hazeltucky,

and she offered to deliver the order.

-Ha-ha-ha.

How thoughtful of her.

(playful music)

And also convenient,

because we just got another delivery order.

This time it's for, uh, a guy at the mall

with a blue mohawk, unibrow,

and he's riding a horse.

-Wow, he should be easy to find.

-Let's hope not. (sighs)

-(shrieks) Why are you here?

Uh, I mean, Luan, you're back. Yay.

-Found the guy with the blue mohawk.

He was right outside.

(horse neighing)

-Huh? He was? -Yeah.

But Benny, can I stay inside now?

I mean, the whole point of working together

was so that we could be together.

-No problem. How about we tag team the freezer?

-Whoa! -You get a jump on it,

and I'll meet you in there.

-Benny, what's going on?

-Let me out! -(shivering)

-Oh, hi, Otis.

Let me out!

-Weird. I thought I heard Luan.

Anyway, excuse me. I need more fish sticks.

-No, I can't let you do that! -Why not?

-There's, uh, a rat infestation.

They've taken control of the fish sticks.

I say we let them have the sticks.

We don't want any trouble.

-Oh-ho-ho, not again.

Move aside, Benjamin.

As manager, I need to handle this.

(loud banging)

They sound huge!

I can take them.

Benny, get my hammer.

(dramatic music)

-Ugh! -(gasps)

-(groans) Luan?

What are you doing here? Benny fired you.

-What? Benny never fired me.

Wait, you were supposed to fire me?

-(sighs) I'm sorry I lied, Andre.

I never went through with it. I didn't want to upset Luan,

so I just kept moving her around,

hoping you wouldn't notice.

And Luan, I'm so sorry,

but with the dog poop and everything else,

your behavior isn't exactly up to our golden bun standard.

We're gonna have to let you go.

This is the part where you break up with me

and run out crying.

-Benny, I'd never break up with you for firing me.

I get it.

I'm just sorry for the way I acted.

I was only trying to have fun with you at work,

but I guess I went a little overboard.

-A little? (laughs)

A little, she says.

-Ah, jeez, that's a relief.

-All right!

-At least we'll be together when Dairyland reopens.

-Wait, Dairyland!

Andre, maybe we don't have to fire Luan.

I have an idea that might help everyone.

-I'm proud of you for thinking of this, Benjamin.

-(vocalizing) -Now I don't have

to wear that ding-dang thing.

-Wah! -When I realized Luan has

experience with costumes, it just clicked.

She's the best Heidi Heifer Dairyland has ever seen.

-That was some good thinking,

some assistant manager type thinking.

-So I get to keep my promotion?

Thank you, sir. I accept!

-Hey, guys, I got all my casts off!

-Wah! -Ah!

-(loud crash) -Yah!

-Sorry, Otis.

-(laughs nervously) -(groans)