# Crashing through the crowded halls #

# Dodging girls like Ping-Pong balls #

# Just to reach the bathroom on time #

# Leaping over laundry piles #

# Diapers you can smell for miles #

# Guy's got to do what he can to survive #

# In the Loud house #

# In the Loud house #

# Duck, dodge, push, and shove #

# This is how we show our love #

# In the Loud house #

# In the Loud house #

# One boy and ten girls #

# Wouldn't trade it for the world #

# Loud Loud Loud #

# Loud house ##

Poo-poo...

(upbeat music)

-(grimacing)

(tires screeching)

-If you are once again lost,

allow me to point out that your bedchamber

is right over there.

-I know that. I'm just afraid to cross because... ooh, aah!

-Ah, I see Lola's still at it.

Now that pageant season is over,

all the energy she put into walking and waving

has nowhere to go.

Yesterday, she glammed Grouse.

(tires screeching)

-Just go for it.

We have a lot of rehearsing to do.

It's too dangerous, Mr. Coconuts.

I'm not getting any younger, kid.

Just count the rings in my neck.

(gasps) Okay.

-Na-na-na-na-na.

-Here goes.

-(screams) -(crash)

Oh, that was a close one, Mr. Coconuts.

Ah! Mr. Coconuts?

Is that you, Uncle Woody?

Your boy Coconuts is coming home.

Oh, stay with me, Mr. Coconuts, please.

Somebody call Pine-1-1.

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

No, that was good.

(coughing)

Mom, Dad, I need a ride to the wood shop!

It's an emergency!

-It wasn't my fault, Lisa.

You saw it, right? He came out of nowhere.

Uh, this hallway is full of blind spots.

How is Mr. Coconuts?

-He's out of surgery.

Dr. Ted soldered his leg back on and said

he'd be as good as new with a little sanding

and some primer.

-Oh, thank goodness.

I'm sorry for hitting him with my car, allegedly.

-There's just one problem.

Mr. Coconuts is going to be at the shop for a few days,

but we booked a party.

They're expecting a ventriloquist act,

and I don't know what to do.

Me talking like this just seems a little weird.

-Well, you've done weirder.

Anyway, I wish I could help, but I've got another glam sesh

with Mr. Grouse at 4:30.

Bye.

-(gasps) You can help me.

You can be my new dummy.

-Ha-ha, sweetie, Lola Loud is no one's dummy.

-See, you made a joke already.

You know, I wouldn't be in this situation

if you hadn't splintered Mr. C's femur

all over the hallway.

-Allegedly.

Look, how about I cover his medical bills,

up to 100 dollars?

-Huh, guess I'll just find someone else to perform

with me to a packed house.

-A packed house?

You mean, people really come to your shows?

-Yep, and this time, it would be your show,

just like your pageants.

You'd be the star.

-"You'd be the star" is my favorite sentence ever.

You got yourself a dummy.

-Boy, I sure am thirsty, Princess Sassy Pants.

-(gulps) -(spits)

Hey! You trying to drown me or something?

Holy mackerel, I'm no carp.

-(laughter)

(cheering)

-That was incredible.

Looks like they love you.

Look at all these texts for party requests.

I've never gotten so many in one day before.

-I'm not surprised.

We slayed.

Does this mean you might be interested in doing

these other shows with me?

-Are you kidding? Today was such a rush...

All the applause and adulation I've been missing.

I'm totally in. Eunice, listen to this!

(cell phone ringing)

-Funny Business LLC.

You bring the money, I bring the funny.

Luan speaking.

-This is Dr. Ted at the wood shop.

I'm happy to report

Mr. Coconuts has made a full recovery

and is ready to be discharged.

-Oh, that's great news.

I'll be by to pick him up.

-And then the crowd cheered so long,

we bowed four times, Eunice, four times!

-Luan? -Oh, sorry, Dr. Ted.

I'll be by, uh, soon.

(upbeat ragtime music)

I can't believe we're headlining the Chortle Portal.

I've performed here a million times,

but I've never been the main act.

-Oh! Let's take a selfie of us with our poster.

-Oops, hang on. My memory is full.

I just need to delete a few pictures.

(melancholy music)

(groans uneasily)

Since this is going to be such a big gig,

I was thinking that, instead of drinking water,

I could eat pizza and have you spit it out.

-Make it a ham and pineapple, and I won't even be acting.

-Blech. -(both laugh)

-(both scream)

-Mr. Coconuts, how did you get home?

-Oh, hey, kiddo.

Why is it so dark in here?

I passed the wood shop on my way home

and picked up Mr. C for you.

-How thoughtful.

-Nice to see you up and about, Mr. Coconuts.

Sorry about the whole running over you thing, allegedly.

I'll leave you two to catch up.

I got to practice spitting pepperonis.

-Oh, it's great to see you, Mr. Coconuts.

How are you feeling?

Like one of Lynn's crusty socks left on the floor.

Were you ever gonna pick me up, toots?

Oh, I'm sorry.

I've been super busy.

Oh, I know.

Your dad told me.

You and Lola are the hot new comedy team in town.

He did?

Chortle Portal, huh?

Boy, Dad sure likes to flap his gums.

Listen, I can explain.

No need to, doll.

You've hit the big time.

I'm really happy for you.

You are?

So we're good?

Good as gold, kid.

-Great run-through, Luan.

I love the improv at the end.

Okay, got to go.

Talk to you later.

-So now that you've seen Lola and me rehearsing,

what do you think of our act?

Ah, nothing I haven't seen before.

Oh, you usually love those kind of jokes.

Anyway, wait till you see the new dress

I got Lola for the show.

Oh, can't wait.

Fun fact... I've been wearing the same seersucker suit

for two years, but whatever.

-Ah! Somebody come quick!

-Sorry. I was only storing that drum of nuclear waste in here

so it wouldn't bother Lily.

-What are you talking about?

-Wait.

What are you talking about?

-This! -(all gasp)

-Something spilled

all over my new dress.

It's ruined. (sniffs)

It smells like wood varnish.

-What a weird thing to happen.

-Ready to rehearse, partner? -You bet.

I just need to get the chocolate mousse pies

out of my portable fridge.

-You made chocolate mousse pies?

Aw, it's so sweet of you to hit me in the face

with my favorite dessert.

-I'll say. I've been asking for key lime pies for half my life,

but who's keeping score?

-(both gasp)

-All the pies are smashed.

I don't understand.

How did this happen?

Aw, what a shame.

A mishap like this could totally derail your show

at the Chortle Portal.

Ah. Perfect for dribbling.

Isn't the dribble glass bit a little overdone?

What? You used to love it.

Besides, Lola...

Of course, Princess Steal-My-Job

thinks it's hilarious.

-(screams)

Someone took all the tires off my ride.

How will we get to the show tonight?

-Uh, maybe Dad can drive us.

-Arriving on the red carpet in Van-zilla?

Ugh. But it's not just that, Luan.

The dress, the pies, and now the tires.

If I didn't know better, I'd say someone

doesn't want us to do the show.

-I think you're right, and I know who it is.

Mr. Coconuts!

Huh?

-Of course.

Wait, aren't you Mr. Coconuts?

-What?

Why would you think that?

Do you know what she's talking about?

No, I don't know what she's talking about.

-I'm gonna give you two a moment alone.

-You win, Mr. Coconuts.

I know you ruined the dress, smashed the pies,

and stole the tires.

But I... No, I get it.

You felt replaced by Lola and betrayed by me.

Well, don't worry.

Lola and I won't perform anymore.

I'll cancel the Chortle Portal show.

Oh!

Lisa, Todd, what were you two doing behind the garage?

-Definitely not burying nuclear waste.

-Luan, I overheard your conversation.

Mr. Coconuts is not the culprit sabotaging your act with Lola.

-He's not? Then who is?

-Leave the dummy and follow me.

Okay, Lily, you know the drill.

-(babbling)

(upbeat mysterious music)

-Whoa.

-I saw all the sabotage happening,

and I developed a theory.

To test it, I installed

some cameras last night,

and no surprise, they have proven me correct.

The saboteur is you.

-(gasps) Me?

-Observe.

(clattering)

-(snoring)

I was sabotaging my own act in my sleep?

But why would I do that?

-In a word, guilt.

-(laughs) Again!

-Oh, believe me, I understand.

When I built Todd, it lessened my time

with Mr. Reinforced Alloy Titanium Arms.

I felt really bad about that.

-I do feel bad about ditching Mr. C.

-Oh, I know, but it's okay to grow, Luan.

I may work with Todd more now, but that doesn't mean

I can't still hang with old Alloy Arms.

-Hello, Lisa.

Can we bury nuclear waste together?

-Well, Todd and I just did that,

but want to help me clone Charles later?

-Oh, goody.

-So just because I'm working with Lola

doesn't mean I have to be done with Mr. Coconuts.

-Precisely.

Hopefully, Lola and Mr. C will get along

as well as Mr. Reinforced Alloy Titanium Arms and Todd do.

-We are best buds.

-Oh, thanks for all your help, Lisa.

I need to find Lola and Mr. Coconuts.

-(laughter)

-That's our show, folks.

-(cheering)

-Give it up for Princess Sassy Pants and Mr. Coconuts.

-(cheering)

-I'm really glad you're back, Mr. C.

When pageant season starts up,

I won't be available as much,

so you'll be on your own again.

-Aw, you come perform with us any time, toots.

-Welp, that really warms the old myocardium.

Looks like Lola and Mr. C are friends, just like you two.

-(electrical sparking) -Todd!

-Gasp. That could have been the end of Todd.

-Oh, my, that would have been a shame.